Gleeky Gossip
by struckbythewishingspell
Summary: Blaine and Kurt have been bonding. Blaine wants to know about the other students in New Directions. Kurt surely has something interesting to say about each of his fellow Glee members...  Klaine is the best thing to ever happen to Glee


**A/N: **Just a little something I wrote based on an idea I had when talking to my friend. We talk a lot about Glee fic ideas and we send each other stories. I've never published a Glee fic but Klaine has inspired me to begin writing Glee stories and now I can't stop. This is meant to be a sort of between-episodes sort of scene.

**Summary: **Blaine and Kurt have been bonding. Blaine wants to know about the other students in New Directions. Kurt surely has something interesting to say about each of his fellow Glee members...

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything Glee, although I would really love to keep Darren Criss in my pocket so he can serenade me.

**Gleeky Gossip**

"So, tell me about your Glee club."

Blaine and Kurt had been sitting in a cafe neither of them had ever been to. Blaine always asked Kurt to go new places or to do new things that they hadn't before. It was one of the things that made him so much fun to hang out with. Kurt looked at him skeptically.

"Blaine, you know that's taboo conversational material."

"I'm not asking about your songs. I want to know... I dunno, their names. You've mentioned Mercedes and Finn and the loud one you can't stand and that's about it. I'm just curious as to what kind of people you spend your days with, is all," Blaine shrugged. Kurt raised his eyebrows.

"Alright..." He went into his messenger bag and pulled out his laptop. He motioned for Blaine to scoot around the table so he could see the screen. He tried not to get distracted by how close they were sitting. He opened up myspace. Blaine laughed.

"Myspace? Really?" he asked. Kurt shrugged.

"Rachel doesn't believe in Facebook. She's the only person on the planet who still uses their Myspace. She posts videos of her singing on there, although I can't imagine why because all she gets is rude comments about how she needs a life." He clicked on Rachel's page. "This is the loud one. Rachel Berry. She dresses like a grandmother and she has the most annoying habits in the world."

"And she dates your step-brother, correct?" Blaine said, trying to keep his facts straight.

"Yes. Finn isn't my step-brother _yet_, by the way. As embarrassing as this is, I introduced his mom to my dad because I had a crush on Finn and wanted to be closer to him. I used to try to sabotage Rachel. Finn clearly didn't reciprocate the feelings, so I stopped trying. I didn't think Carol and my dad were going to get married when I introduced them, obviously, but..." Blaine laughed.

"Show me Finn, then. I'm curious as to what your type is." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Finn isn't exactly the embodiment of my type. I don't know why I found his idiocy so charming, but..." He typed in Facebook to find his other Glee members. He clicked Finn's profile.

"Cute," Blaine said. Kurt shrugged.

"He's a total block head. My dad flipped out on him for acting homophobic towards me. He tells me I should be careful who I talk to so I don't damage their reputations."

"Sounds like a jerk." Blaine raised his eyebrows.

"Finn has good intentions. Like I said, he's just clueless." He clicked on Puck. "This is Noah Puckerman. He's on the football team with Finn. He's the resident delinquent of our Glee club. He used to spend his time throwing me in dumpsters, but once he joined Glee he became just as big a loser as the rest of us. He's also a certified man-whore." He clicked Santana. "Santana Lopez. She's sassy and doesn't take anyone's crap. She hates Rachel as much as I do... Her boobs are fake." Blaine laughed. "She gets around a decent amount but she isn't as bad as her... sort of girlfriend Brittany." He paused. "Apparently they have sex with each other when they don't have dates." He clicked Brittany.

Then he got quiet. Blaine looked at him. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah I just remembered something that I'm surprised I forgot about. I mean, I didn't really forget. I thought about it a few weeks ago, but... This is Brittany Pierce. She's as dumb as a box of rocks and she's made out with every single guy in our school." Blaine raised his eyebrows. "Yes, that includes me. Long story involving me trying to be straight for my dad... didn't really work out."

"I can't imagine you kissing girls, for some reason," Blaine teased.

"Oh, believe it. It was horrible. I dressed like a redneck for a few days and when my dad asked me why I had a girl in my room I told him the most mortifying thing."

Blaine laughed. "Please tell me what you said."

"There are some limits to what you can know, Blaine."

"Please?" he pouted. Kurt cursed those hazel eyes and strangely-triangular eyebrows. He closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see Blaine's reaction.

"I said... 'We were having sexual relations.'" Blaine burst out laughing.

"I'm... hahaha, I'm sorry, that's just... too cute," he giggled. Kurt's face was bright red. He had his hands over his eyes and didn't dare to move them.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Just show me the others," Blaine said, the laughter not gone from his voice. Kurt shook his head, not moving. "Kurt, I'm sorry. Tell me more about Mercedes." Kurt took a deep breath and uncovered his face.

"I hate you," he said unconvincingly. Blaine just smiled at him. That stupid smile. "Mercedes," he said, clicking on her profile. "She's fabulous. She has an incredible voice and she's the one who's always there for me. It took her an obscenely long time to realize that I'm gay so she was under the impression we were dating. I love her to death but I'm pretty sure I'll never completely forgive her for smashing my windshield." Blaine's mouth fell open.

"Damn. Remind me not to get on her bad side."

"Oh yes. Her fabulous self is not a force to be reckoned with," Kurt laughed. He clicked Tina. "Tina isn't too interesting to be honest. She used to fake a stutter so people would leave her alone. She dated Artie, who I'll show you in a minute, for this guy Mike Chang who's an excellent dancer and has abs to die for. They got together at Asian camp..." He made a face. "Complete stereotype, but whatever." He clicked Mike's. "This is Mike. Not much of a singer but, like I said, he can dance. I don't think I've ever heard him hold up a conversation for more than a minute. He's on the football team, too. Strangely, so is Artie." He clicked his profile.

"...He's in a wheelchair," Blaine said, trying not to be rude, but not knowing what to say.

"Yeah, apparently he's trying to win Tina back by becoming a jock. He's basically a battering ram for gaining yardage on the field."

"You played football too, right?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah. Kicker. It was more so my dad and I actually had something to talk about. I was good, but it took the team a while to stop laughing at me because I refused to kick field goals without dancing to Single Ladies." He shrugged. Blaine laughed again. Kurt was so ridiculous, Blaine couldn't help but think it was completely adorable. "I was also a Cheerio. Tina and Rachel are the only girls in Glee who didn't cheerlead and I don't think any of the guys haven't been on the football team."

"And yet you're all still at the bottom of the food chain, huh?"

"Not as much as we were before. I mean we all get slushied, but..." Blaine paused.

"Um... I'm sorry, I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that term."

"Must be a McKinley thing. It's when the jocks throw slushies in our faces. I normally take up to three changes of clothes to school with me, just in case. It's really frustrating to clean cherry slushie out of Marc Jacobs and Alexander McQueen clothes." Kurt frowned. "Honestly, can no one appreciate designer labels these days?" He shook his head. "Anyway, Artie is weird. He has a ridiculous vocal range and he does most of the rap segments in our songs, though, so he's nice to have."

"Uh huh... Who else?" Blaine asked.

"Quinn Fabray." Kurt clicked her name next. "She was the queen of the school. She joined Glee originally as a spy, like Brittany and Santana did. The Cheerios coach really hates the Glee club and she likes to try to destroy us so she can restore her Cheerios budget. Quinn was at the top of the food chain and dated Finn, but she got pregnant last year. She got kicked off of the Cheerios and there was this whole scandal about how Finn wasn't the father and Puck was and she ended up giving her baby over for adoption. She got back on the Cheerios by telling Coach Sylvester that Santana couldn't be head cheerleader with a boob job, and that it would look better to have the Christian girl who preaches abstinence to be in charge instead. Now she's dating the new guy, although I was pretty sure he was gay because he dyes his hair blonde."

He clicked Sam's profile. "You really have a thing for football players, don't you?"

"Okay one, I like guys who aren't as feminine as I am but they still appreciate the same things as I do, which is why I went for football players who also sang in Glee. They don't have to be total jocks... that's just what I've been around. Like, for example-" He stopped himself there.

"Yes?" Blaine urged. Kurt just shook his head.

"Nothing." He was going to say "you," but figured it'd be a bit much. He closed his computer. Blaine wanted to ask. He wanted to know what Kurt's type really was. Still, he knew better than to press into it any more when Kurt didn't want to talk about it.

"...I still can't believe you made out with that blonde girl."

**A/N: **Kind of a drabble, I guess. No real direction. I kind of like playing with dialogue, and, like I said, this was just a quick something that my friend and I joked about. Mostly because I had forgotten about Kurt's attempt to be straight until I saw a clip on Youtube that reminded me. Reviews welcome, but what I really want is ideas for new stories! What do you guys want to read? I'm going to try to write a few cute one-shots until something really develops between Klaine in the show. I don't like having my stories be really unrealistic to the plot of the show. So feel free to give me ideas! (:


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